Have you ever heard of that fine hummingbird,
Miss Daisy Muzaffer Susannah the Third,
She hummed and she minged, oh the joy that she bringed
To the tulips that smiled and the bluebells that ringed.
Poetry
Goose, Gone
Stuff your mouth, bulge your cheeks,
Fly down south for sixteen weeks.
Old Dame Rehmet
Old Dame Rehmet weaved a tale
Like no one in her time,
With flying turnips, itching queens
And demons speaking rhyme,
She told them all in different voices
And the wildest costume choices.
Bubba Brickle
Bubba Brickle liked to tickle
Little children’s toes,
They socked his eye and made him cry
Till snot ran out his nose.
Fishing For Pike
Gulls swoop.
Dodge poop.
Fish bite;
All right!
Pike soup for dinner tonight.
Come again
It’s wet,
It’s sweat.
It’s not;
It’s snot.
Sayyaad Al-Sarsoor
Was from the most curious of jobs:
He hunted cockroaches, and shaped from them brooches
That ladies emblazoned upon their hijaabs.
Light me a chulha
Light me a chulha
For my handsome dulha;
I made him hot chai
But he prefers it coolah.
Cleaning Glasses
Every so often I take off my glasses
And reach for a scrap that is clean,
I polish one lens, and then do the other,
And wonder how dirty they’ve been.
Make me an omelette
Make me an omelette covered in cheese,
Green peppers, black olives and cream, if you please.