The more I say, the less you hear;
The less I say, the more its clear,
That wishing for to know me more
Is not a fancy you hold dear.
Humbling Fatherhood
Furrows In Your Brow
It ever pleases me to see
The furrows in your brow
That come about with every pout
Begotten by a row;
So let me plot and fabricate
An argument somehow,
That I may sigh, and gaze upon
The furrows in your brow.
Change My Heart
This du’aa in verse is the original work of Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmed Naqshbandi. A beautiful supplication in Urdu that I was privileged to hear him render in nasheed some years ago.
دل بدل دے
I beg you, Lord, to change my heart,
So steeped in every heedlessness,
Enslaved by passions, avarice,
And vice I shudder to confess.
Your Mercy, Lord: transform my heart,
Bring back to life its every part.
I’ve tired of my sinful ways,
So cleanse and mend my withered heart,
That I may hear it sing your praise;
I beg you, Lord, to change my heart.
That I might turn my eye away
From what displeases you, I pray
That every moment of my day
Be for your sake: Lord, change my heart.
My every peace and every joy
For something of that solemn grief
That brings with it the sweet relief
Of Your remembrance; change my heart.
I lay, defeated, at your door;
Why am I so, Lord? Change my heart
That I may be for ever more
Your servant, Lord; transform my heart.
My Lord, I beg you, set me free
By making me your humble slave,
For that is all I wish to be.
Lord, hear my plea, and change my heart.
O Light of heavens, Light of earth,
This darkness from my heart dispel;
Replace its grief with lasting mirth,
That in Your Light it might revel.
My Lord, my inward state, reform,
My disposition, well adorn;
My stray and heedless self abate;
Reform me, Lord, and change my state.
Lord, give me from your fount until
Of love for you, I’ve had my fill.
My inward state, My Lord, reform,
My disposition, well adorn;
Your Mercy, Lord: transform my heart,
Bring back to life its every part.
To the Proud Parents of Sulayman
For every of his infant cry,
That brings to you a weary sigh:
May your ears be blessed with the music of the angels and the celestial sounds of the divine recitation.
For every moment of arrest:
(It is what Sulaymans do best)
May you roam the grounds of vast, verdant gardens, hand in hand, unrestrained.
For all the suffocating phews,
All brought about by his refuse:
May you smell the varied fragrances of Jannah and ever find yourself in the company of its fragrant dwellers.
For every wakeful night that’s spent,
And each arousal inclement:
May you find restful repose without weariness on the warm grassy banks of babbling waters.
May Sulayman be your greatest reward forever, and ever.
On Cancer, Guns, and Hit ‘n Runs
He so despised the sterile smells,
The chatter, beeps, and flimsy gown,
And then those plain disgusting gels.
But no more thoughts of days gone by,
Of chances lost, of things begun,
And multitud’nous reasons why
Some of those things just won’t get done.
No, none of that. He closed his eyes,
And saw with utmost clarity
The very light that clarifies
The meaning of reality.
Deceased, 12-20-88
Returning from the library,
He tried to navigate his thoughts
From English and Geography
To complicated scatter plots.
He’d battled cancer as a child,
And thought that was his hardest time,
Until that college kid went wild,
And shot him in a tragic crime.
Disease and wounds had left him strong,
And strong he was in times of strife,
But then, that night, something went wrong:
A drunken driver took his life.
Deceased, 11-6-08.
I am amongst you even as
I breathe, and wince, and laugh, and cry;
I’ve been with you from evermore.
Deceased, mm-dd-yy.
Feather
Head…pain.
I pull into the parking lot,
And want to shake my head so bad,
But find that I cannot.
Head…pain…feather.
My immobility persists
While I attempt to process why
These words arrest me so.
Head…pain…feather…child.
And then I see inside my head
A scene projected by my heart,
A fascinating show:
A baby in my mother’s arms
Is rocking slowly back and forth;
She smiles, she laughs, she imitates
His coos so very well.
And as he rocks and bobs his head,
She’s taken by surprise just when
His forehead strikes her in the chest,
How hard, I cannot tell.
But she does seem to wince at that
With baby still held in her arms,
Laughing, then crying out in pain,
And then, laughing again.
I blink to end my reverie.
Feather still eludes me.
The Butterfly and the Bee
This came out on a quiet Sunday afternoon at the behest of my two little girls. They supplied the words and the scene while I mashed it all together. Quite contrived, but such a fun exercise.
On a bright and sunny morning,
Where the grass grows wild and green,
And the colors of the rainbow
Wash all the flowers clean,
The butterfly came fluttering,
And sat her light self down
Upon a black-eyed Susan’s
Crisp and golden crown;
And was about to sample
The nectar, filling, sweet,
When, overhead, she heard the buzz
Of interrupting feet.
“My kindest salutations,
To you my fluttering friend,
I come with hope to partake of
This black-eyed Susan blend.”
The butterfly turned to him,
Said with a quick Ahem,
“A hundred others sway here now,
The Proposal
The thought had come and swiftly gone
At least a dozen times that day,
Then like a close and dear friend,
It caught itself and chose to stay,
And cause a stir in Ali’s heart,
Who gently put his burden down,
Then stretched his sore and ailing self
Upon the parched and dusty ground.
And where he lay upon the dust,
The burning sun shone down upon
The son Medina doted on:
Ali, the soldier, scholar, scribe.
How could a poor man like he
With not a dirham to his name
Aspire so, he shook his head
But considered it just the same.
Good men of higher standing tried,
But everyone had been denied
Their wish to marry Fatima,
Sweet piety personified.
The crisp adhan cut through the air
And shook young Ali from his thoughts,
The lowly water carrier
Broke from his work and made for prayer.
And as he found his lips complete
The call to claim the harvest high,
The indecision left him, for
In every thought does action lie.
The soldier ambled out of prayer,
And saw the man he dearly loved,
The Prophet, making for his home,
His fragrant scent perfumed the air.
With quickened heart and pace to match,
He came to where the Prophet was,
Who turned around and with a smile
Said thus to end the pregnant pause:
“Upon you Peace, Abu Turab”,
To which Ali responded and
Proceeded to articulate
His plea for young Fatima’s hand.
The smile upon the Prophet’s face
Grew brighter as he drew Ali
Towards him, then the words he said
Set Ali’s tender heart to race:
“And what shall be my daughter’s dower?”,
To which did Ali promptly yield,
“The worth of my sole property:
My coat of mail and trusted shield”.
And thus a seed of thought had found,
In young Ali, its fertile ground,
Then from it sprung a blessed tree
That bore its fruit for all to see.